For us at Eight, the fall is the beginning of our wedding season. The weddings that we are catering this season absolutely run the spectrum of style and size. From a traditional big Italian fete to a modern art gallery cocktail party. With my own anniversary this past week, it got me thinking about the things that brides and grooms do right and wrong in the planning of their big day. This will be a short list, but here are my top 3 things that you shouldn't and should do to ensure a memorable and fabulous day.
1. Leave the peanut gallery at home: The average wedding cost between 10K to 30K. That's the cost of a car! It's a big and personal financial commitment. Would you bring your whole family and all your friends to help you buy a house? Then why would you bring them to a cake tasting, dress fitting or food tasting and let them make the decisions? The day is about you and your partner, not about what your best friend, mom, little brother wished they could have at their wedding. PLEEEEEASE couples allow yourselves to make a deep personal decision that is just for you. Not your guest or your family. (Even if they are paying. Because a monetary gift is just that a GIFT! You don't tell people what to do with a gift.)
2. Plan ahead: If you are having a shot gun wedding, more power to you. No really. For those that are not having one, please don't act like you are. Plan, plan, plan. So much goes into planning the big day. Get help and get help early. Find a friend that is in the industry and ask them for advice. They will be able to steer you in a proper, money and time saving direction to help plan out the big day. Friends in the industry will turn you on to insider tips on how to get the most bang for your buck.
3. The entire West Coast doesn't need to be invited: This is the one piece of advice I give out to everybody I know who is getting married. Nobody ever listens and after they get married they always say, "Wow you were right." No shit! Having a rave for a wedding will exhaust you. Unless you are a raver. We had 50 people at our wedding and it felt like a night of 50 unfinished conversations. The guest that you invite took the time to buy you an expensive gift, travel across the country to be there and sit through your ceremony. They deserve more than 30 seconds of, "Thank you for coming." Our rule was if we hadn't had dinner with you in a year, then you weren't invited. Harsh rule, but it kept the numbers low and the cost down. It made it intimate. My sister got married a year ago and she had 500 people at her wedding reception. It was a par-tay, but that many people in a dark warehouse with booming music scared the shit out of my son and after being there for 20 minutes I had to leave. Missing everything about my sister's wedding reception. Very disappointing and not very intimate. Something that she regretted later.
So take the time to figure out what you want and how to get it. Let the conversation be between just the two of you and remember you(hopefully)only get married once. Though you may renew your vows, the next time around some loved ones might not be there to enjoy it, so just do it right the first time.