Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Non-Gold Digger Lookin' for Scrilla...Fo' Rilla'

So to those who may not know, since June of this year my husband and I got into the catering business. (By accident) OMFG! My husband warned me. He said, "Babe, you've never catered before. It's completely different from running banquets at a hotel or restaurant." And to those who may not know, I'm a hard-headed, self proclaimed bad ass. You can't tell me spit. I looked at my husband and with assuring eyes said, "Sure babe, I trust you." Who wouldn't, the man was in charge of 300 person caterings for Dean and Deluca. Meanwhile, my brain was saying, "Ppfft! Does he not understand what kind of experience I have! 1200 person holiday banquets, 15 years in the industry, and on top of that, bartending at the E40 after party at the Sheraton before the cops shut it down. (Now that was bananas. Take "New Jack City" and add a little "Coyote Ugly", that best describes that experience.)

To digress...long story short, on the night of our first catering my husband took pride and redemption in watching me run around cracked out on 5-hour Energy and Red Bull, barking orders, run/walking through the back of the wedding venue and generally losing my mind.

He laughed inside and out and later on the tailgate of our truck at around 12:15am, he passed me the flask of Jameson and said, "I love you, but I told you so." Through tears of exhaustion, embarrassment and joy of completing our first gig I just turned to him, quietly nodded and put my head on his shoulder.

As I said before we got into the catering business by accident. Our true goal is to open a bistro here in Sacramento, and literally we are almost there. What's the hold up you ask? MONEY! So that's been my mission for the past four months. Finding investors in this economy is like trying to find a plate of huevos rancheros at the Hauf Brau. It's frustrating. I'm starting to realize I might have to become part of the Sacramento glitterati to find someone who can invest in our dream. Uugh! Honestly, I don't want to have to go shake n' bake, bat my eyelashes, trade business cards and give fake kisses to acquaintances to get the inside track on somebody that knows somebody that possibly has money to invest. I want to have a genuine conversation with someone who sees that I have passion, intelligence and the were with all to be successful. Is that too much to ask, for no more phoney ass, cartoon, reality TV wanna-be's. Real people what's your 20! I'm lookin' for you.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I Got Full on This!?

So here's a question...Have you ever eaten a meal and afterwards wished you hadn't wasted your chewing power on it? Even contemplated, "Should I pull a Lindsey Lohan and barf this up?" I'm not talking about when you eat a bacon pastrami burger with a fried egg on top, when you should have had a watercress and radicchio salad with a wisp of sea salt. I'm talkin' about spending $16.48 on some tacos that tasted like Fancy Feast cat food with some ancho chile powder sprinkled on top, with a greasy taco shell that falls apart like white bread on Sloppy Joe sandwiches.

I should have known better. It's against my nature to eat at quick stop unknown taquerias, but I had just watched Anthony Bourdain and homie was talking about the exquisite simplicity of eating at the hole in the wall mom and pop joints. So I got brave.

The day before I made pancakes from scratch, hot deli subs for lunch and my yellow chicken curry for dinner. Last night, I spent five hours with my lil' sis just on the set up for this blog, I didn't feel like cooking. Sorry, my cape was at Swanson's cleaners. A girl can't be half woman, half amazing everyday!

As I sat on the steps of the deck in our backyard with my sister, I thought, "Why am I still eating this crap?" My sister who was giving me sideways glances was probably thinking the same, but since she just got a free meal, she wasn't gonna dare say anything. So we sat there in silence, giving each other sideways glances to see who would stop eating first. Finally I couldn't take it and turned to her and said, "These tacos suck!" She swallowed what she had in her mouth like it was broken glass and simply said, "yup". And with that, one and a half tacos deep, we were done. Thank God for the Jarritos to wash those bad boys down.

Lesson learned: No matter how tired I am, like He-Man calling on the power of Grey Skull, I need to pull the Susie homemaker from within and sack up and cook a decent meal. Or find a better taqueria. Any suggestions people?