I would love to write that the past three months have been an amazing whirlwind of entrepreneurial excitement and that everyday I wake up feeling excited for a new day, but real talk...I want to throw dishes up against the wall. I'm stressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, and irritated. That all said, I do realize how blessed I am, I do appreciate all that has happened over the past year and everyone that has helped us get there. But DAMN, my biggest gripe is that there is such a lack of understanding from people that I thought were in my tribe. You know that saying that, "True friends are the ones who never leave your heart, even if they leave your life for a while, even after time apart you pick up with them right where you left off." Well shit, there are some folks that I can't leave five minutes without freaking the hell out.
"How come you didn't call me back, answer my text, return my email, show up to my party? WHY WHY WHY?" "How could you be so rude, forgetful, inconsiderate...." and the list goes on.
Well let me answer some of those questions...I don't have a damn life folks, actually wait...I have too much life! I get woken up at 6am by a five year old, I make school lunches, clean dishes, make coffee, answer the first 20 emails in my inbox, search images for my brides, get two kids in the shower and dress them and take them to school by 9am.
Most morning I'm not even combing my hair. Once I get to work it's the next 20 emails, 20 phone calls and texts, fix the computers that have crashed, deal with invoices, vendors, payroll, brides, staff issues, marketing, graphic designers, more brides...oh shit the computers are down again...FUCK! Oh did I tell you I haven't eaten breakfast, and I usually don't eat my first meal until 2pm. My day is full of playing catch up and putting out fires, peppered in with pissed off friends that really don't get what being REALLY busy must mean.
If I don't return texts, it's because I'm putting my kids to bed or reading them a book or cooking dinner when I get home. If I don't return a phone call, it's because after talking to people all day long...I'm mentally done. If I don't go to your party it's because I HAVE TO WORK, I run FOUR businesses, am raising two kids and trying my damnedest to be a good wife, though I must admit I've been a bitch to the poor guy lately.
My father told me when I was younger that your true friends you should be able to count on one hand. Being in this industry you make a lot of "friends". It's the nature of the beast. But I am learning that Ol' Pops was spittin' some serious knowledge and maybe I need to check my inventory.
So as I sit here typing with my hairy ass legs, bushy Bert from Sesame Street eyebrows, un-combed hair (because I get no time to myself) I am realizing that I need to handle my life and family first. These dramas that keep popping up are not worth me pouring energy into. "Keep you circle small, girl!" That's what Dad would say...I am posting this link to an article from another blogger. http://www.thefreedomexperiment.com/2011/10/28/55-gentle-ways-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-youre-busy-busy-busy/. When others make me feel like douche bag, I like to read this. Helps me remember that it's ok to say, "No." Keep your tribe small folks, keep it small. I will be taking a personal technology break for a week. No personal emails, phone calls, texts, Facebook...I need a break. I need take back to 0 and recharge. So see ya on the flip side!